so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
