Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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