She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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