I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
