its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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