With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
