just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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