put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
