She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
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