Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
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