i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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