how can u be prego again
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
