Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I didn't notice because vodka
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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