if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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