Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Randomize
