hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
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