Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize