she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
