So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
