i came on her dog
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
