doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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