Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
