If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
