You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
