There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
