I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
