i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
