I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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