I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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