I hate all girls vehemently.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
