is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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