Will you blow on my dice?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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