i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
