Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Umm I'm too high to move.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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