Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
