You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
We need a shit load of segways right now
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
