It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
