At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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