.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
