I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
