3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
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