so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
