We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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