you would pick up someone in the library
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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