You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
