Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
