I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
