You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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