Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
