On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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