You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
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Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
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If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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