I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize