Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
