There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize