if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
