Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
