So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
