I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
